How to Choose a Bottle of Wine

How to Select the Perfect Gift

Whether it's Christmas time or a loved one or friend's birthday, many of us are still scrambling around trying to choose the perfect gift for a friend or relative. What do they want? What do they need? What can we buy? We can spend hours in shops asking ourselves these questions. There is another way to select the perfect gift but it involves changing our perception of what gift giving is all about.

The problem is that we think about giving gifts as the exchange of physical objects. A useful alternative is to think of a gift as communication. When you give a gift to someone, what you are actually doing is speaking to them. You buy, make or discover a gift that says something to the receiver. They receive the gift, and if they are perceptive, they understand your message. Of course this is obvious, but somehow we forget it when we go to choose gifts. We focus first on the object or the need, then check what message it conveys.

What gifts communicate is seldom attached to their price tag or their prestige.

You may have realized gifts are communication when someone gives you a gift and you are instantly aware of what it says. Some gifts communicate distance, others intimacy. Some say ” I love your creativity”, others “You should look after yourself”. Some are downright insulting. What gifts communicate is seldom attached to their price tag or their prestige. Some of the gifts that I have appreciated the most have been practically free for the giver to arrange for me, but have said so much that they have been immensely valuable.

If you harness this thinking, when you choose gifts, then you can quickly move towards the perfect gift. Ask yourself first, “What do I want to say to this person?” Then move on to “What can I give them that will communicate this?”. This is opposite to the more common “What can I buy them?” and then “What will they think of it?”.

This method could help you come up with some slightly off beat gifts, but at least they will be meaningful. One gift that I received recently was given as a result of this sort of thinking. My wife gave me a 1 day ticket of freedom. She took on all of my responsibilities for a day and sent me off to Tokyo to play. She wanted to say that she appreciated everything that I did, and that she understood that my responsibilities were sometimes a burden to me. That helped her to design the perfect gift which was simply a break from it all. I loved it.

The gifts that we come up with when we think of gifts as communication may be the same that we would think of in other ways. The difference may simply be that we arrive at a decision faster and with more certainty that our gift is right for that person.

Of course, there is a caveat. If you have nothing positive to say to the person, but feel that you must give a gift, then go back to your old ways of thinking. Communicating negative things with a gift, may not be the best way to enjoy the occasion. Try it only if you are feeling brave.

How to Choose the Right Mortgage and Save Money

When purchasing a new home, a mortgage can be a great investment tool. Making sense of fixed, arms, reverse amortization, and interest only loans can save you thousands.

The right mortgage can save you thousands of dollars, while the wrong mortgage can put your house in jeopardy. With all the mortgage products on the market, it is more important than ever to understand real estate financing.

Making Sense of Mortgage Options

Start by simply understanding your options. People with average credit ratings or better should be able to secure a fixed mortgage for a traditional 30 year term. This essentially means you pay the same mortgage payment monthly for the entire loan period. Alternatively, you also have the option of choosing a 1, 5, or 10 year Adjustable Rate Mortgage (ARM). These mortgages adjust to the market rate after 1, 5, or 10 years. This could be up or down, depending on how interest rates move. Essentially, this means you could either be paying more or less when your rate lock period ends. Rates traditionally don’t move significantly, so don’t expect any major surprises. However, over the course of a 30 year loan rates could change significantly.

People with no or bad credit should expect higher rates on these standard products. Additionally, you may have to reach into the sub-prime lending market. These loans typically have much higher interest rates and a variety of different structure. Importantly, when evaluating these loans, ensure there is no penalty for prepayment. Your major goal should be to pay off these loans as soon as possible or refinance to a lower interest rate when your credit improves.

Many other products exist. Reverse amortization, interest only, balloon mortgages, etc. offer a variety of payment terms, while increasing the cost (and sometimes the risk) to the buyer. Unless you have alternative investments, traditional mortgages provide the best option for purchasing a home. Regardless of the mortgage you choose, understand the payment schedule, fees, penalties, and ways the interest rate can be adjusted. Always remember that it is in everyone’s best interest for you to pay off your loan on time.

The Down Payment and the Interest Rate

The two most important parts of the mortgage are the down payment and the interest rate. There are two schools of thought when it comes to paying down a mortgage. Some people suggest paying down your mortgage as soon as possible, while others suggest making minimum payments to maximize your tax advantage. Bottom line, if you are an active investor (401k, real estate, stocks, etc.) it is probably best to pay as little down as possible. If you have good credit, try getting a 100% mortgage. While you will have to pay a higher interest rate, the cost of borrowing for your personal home will be cheaper than the returns you can get from investing.

In contrast, if you are not an active investor, your mortgage can make a reasonable investment vehicle. When most savings accounts offer 2.5% to 4% interest, it makes more sense to pay off your mortgage that charges 6.5% to 7.5%. You are essentially saving about 1.5% on every dollar you repay. The only short coming of this investment strategy is the lack of compounding you would receive with a traditional investment. If you are still young (18-55), consider a tax deferred IRA. You get similar tax benefits, plus a return that can be compounded, basically leaving you more money in the long run.

Understand that everything in this process is negotiable. Your goal should be to minimize the down payment and the interest rate. Typically, the higher the down payment the lower the interest rate and vice versa. Shop around using a mortgage broker to save yourself some time and legwork.

Finally, decide on the right mortgage for you. You should be able to comfortably make the payments and have enough in savings to cover at least three months of payments. This provides a buffer in case of layoff or any other possible tragedy that might occur during the homeownership. Additionally, make sure you get to know your loan officer. A good relationship with your banker could save your house. Banks can be far more flexible than most people think. Again, banks do not want to foreclose on houses because it cost them far more money than they make. While a mortgage is simply a tool to purchase a house, managing this tool properly can save you thousands.

Counting Sheep Too Often?

Most women have bouts of insomnia-the failure to fall asleep or stay asleep or both-at some point in their lives. I recall the experience of one woman I knew: Several weeks before her wedding, she began a nightly ritual of lying awake for hours, followed by hours of tossing and turning until at last she would become exhausted and fall asleep. This pattern left her little time for restful sleep.

Fortunately, my friend was able to return to her normal sleeping pattern after the big day. This type of anxiety-induced sleeplessness is a classic and straightforward case of short-term insomnia, and so an ideal candidate for those well advertised sleeping pills.

Many women, however, have prolonged difficulties achieving good sleep. As mothers, students, caretakers, and professionals, many of us lead hectic lives, filled with both obvious and subtler stressors that are on our minds as we attempt to settle into sleep. The sheer numbers of over-the-counter and prescription sleep aids give you an idea of how widespread insomnia is today.

But the problem with these sleep aids is that even though they induce drowsiness, they do not promote real sleep - deep, lasting, and refreshing. And some of these agents, if taken over the course of months may lead to dependency or stop working altogether. Don't be surprised if your physician is not inclined to prescribe them.

Fortunately, there are many measures besides popping pills that you can use to improve your chances of getting a good night's sleep. Here are a few:

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Acknowledge your stressors. Consider transferring that list of items swirling around in your head at night onto a sheet of paper. This will help you feel as if you've gotten started with your tasks and let you get some rest.
* Exercise regularly. It may seem counterintuitive, but upping your level of activity during the evening, when you think you're wiped out, will help you to gain a second wind and probably to sleep better when you do retire.
* Avoid caffeine after mid-day. Be wary, too, of sodas and teas, which often contain caffeine as well.
* Go to bed when you're tired. Don't spend time staring at the ceiling and worrying about how you simply must get some sleep. Get up, do something relaxing in another room, and return to bed when you're ready.
* Learn relaxation techniques. Consciously attend to your breathing; imagine being in your favorite place (think: "Calgon, take me away!"); relax your muscles, scanning your body from head to toe - Pilates and yoga classes often teach these skills.
* Maintain a routine. Changing your sleep schedule dramatically on Friday and Saturday nights can lead to a shift in your circadian rhythm that carries into the following week.
* Consider melatonin. This hormone is a natural sleep aid. It appears to work particularly well for those who have trouble staying asleep, even though they may easily fall asleep. A dose of 0.3 mg nightly is recommended.

Talk with your doctor about your sleep troubles if they persist. Pain, snoring, frequent nighttime urination, or symptoms of anxiety or depression should be further assessed and may respond to other treatments.